Heavenly Glow
by Bzou
Summary: It's Christmas, and Bella has returned home from college to visit Jacob. But Bella's getting married in a week. This may be the last chance for them, or the last chance for her to change her mind. for daintress, I hope you enjoy it!


Pain encircled me, and I felt as if I could not breathe anymore, and that I would never feel the sweet rush of air in my lungs again. My ribs were crushed, and my arms struggled for a way of freedom from being pinned against my side.

Finally, after what felt like countless minutes, but was probably about fifteen seconds, I could breathe again. I stumbled backward and coughed as air returned to my lungs and my breathing returned to normal.

"I missed you too, Jake," I panted. _But not as much as you missed me,_ I thought sadly. He grinned goofily, his teeth glinting in the pale light cast from the windows of his small house. Charlie was already inside with Billy, not wanting to miss a moment of male bonding in front of the TV. I couldn't bring myself to look at Jacob. I felt kind of embarrassed around him sometimes, knowing it was a mere matter of days before I crushed his heart for good, but I had stalled it long enough, and I couldn't bring myself to hold off on Edward any longer. But poor Jake… for his sake I wish there was a better way. I just knew for Edward I could no longer hold out. I felt this was the last time I would see him before he would hate me, and I him, despite my deep feelings for him.

Or it could hurt to look at him because he was only in a tank top and shorts despite the fact it was the middle of DECEMBER and there was about four feet of snow on the ground. I'm pretty sure that was the main reason. Not that I hadn't seen Jake shirtless in ludicrous temperatures before, but really, that was a freak weather pattern. It's the first day of winter.

Then again, I guess this is the cause for the tank top. Or he wanted at least give the appearance of dressing warm for me, knowing how cold I felt just looking at him.

"Merry Christmas!" he said happily. He was bouncing on the balls of his bare feet (I shivered) and his shaggy hair was swishing with his motion.

"Same to you," I said, shivering as a gust of wind picked up.

"How's college?" he said darting to my side and (subtly wrinkling his nose) putting his arm over my shoulder. Normally, yes, I would protest, but it did feel so wonderfully warm.

"It's hectic, but nice," I said casually. He was walking and guiding me somewhere. "I do miss it here though. How's the pack."

He sighed, shifting his weight a bit. "Awkward."

"Do I want to know?"

"I'll tell you later."

"Did Sam and Emily get married?" I changed the subject.

"Yes. The wedding was nice."

"Nice? And by that do you mean a lot of overgrown, teenage puppies wreaked havoc on the poor couple?"

Jacob smirked. "Maybe."I sighed shaking my head. The wind picked up, but my fluffy windbreaker kept me warm. "How did Leah hold up?"

"She held up, to say the least." _Poor girl_.

We stopped. I looked up now to realize we had wandered on the beach. It was a striking sight. The moon seemed brighter here than at the house, causing an eerie glow on the snow. The beach was covered with snow, as I had figured it would, and the water closest to the shore had frozen. Still, the water ebbed in and out lazily, bits of lice floating it in. The surrounding trees had formed icicles from the moisture, and Jacob led me to our own special spot on the beach. I knew it well.

I also noticed the snow had been cleared out already so I could sit comfortably. I did.

Jacob, however, still stood. He was staring at me.

"Are you trying to imprint on me again?"

He chuckled, and then looked out toward the water. "No. Just…trying to remember."

"Remember?"

"You get married next week," he said distantly.

It was odd to hear, but it was true. Alice had been working nonstop on it. I had to admit I was excited, but seeing Jacob made me want to call this whole thing off.

I just knew I couldn't.

But I had to make the most of my last chance with Jacob.

"I…I just want to remember what you look like. To see you before you go," he said, his voice shaky.

We sat there for a minute. I gazed out over the ghostly, polar water, praying for a subject change. Then I remembered.

"Oh, Jake…," I jumped up. "I got you a gift!"

His smile returned, white as the ice on the water. "Really? So did I!"

I rifled through my jacket pockets until I found the small, wrapped package. It was not the best gift anyone would want, but I thought of Jake as soon as I saw it.

I handed it to him, saying "I hope it helps you."

Like a child, he eagerly ripped into the paper. It's times like these I adore his immaturity. It almost makes him seem…normal again, like his old, bouncy, unburdened self.

He held the contents of the package up to the light. It was a hand-made belt I had found in a craft sale. It was light leather, but very thick and long and woven. "I wanted something multi-purpose, and this reminded me of you. I know you are pretty much opposed to clothes, but you can wear it with your shorts and it is long, so I was thinking you could maybe use it to tie them to your leg when you change…"

I couldn't stop rambling and explaining myself. Jacob cut me short by smothering me in a bear hug.

"Yurr…well-COME. CAN I…have AIR?" I gasped over his display of gratitude. He stepped back and grabbed me by the shoulders.

"Bells, thank you! I love it!" An odd sort of light, coming seemingly from nowhere, set his face into a bright, almost heavenly glow. Happiness like this is rare for him, but it is a beautiful sight. I'd miss it.

"Oh, and I got you this. I guess I have to explain it," he handed me a small square box wrapped in comics from the local newspaper. He seemed slightly embarrassed as he began. "Did you know there are nice caves south of here?"

"No," I said, holding the box lightly, as if it were fragile as glass fibers. I did not want to open it yet.

"Yeah, well Seth, Quil, and I discovered them one night taking an extended patrol. They're really amazing crystals in the caves. We all took some, and the color, well…" he smiled broadly. "Open it!"

I did as he commanded, removing the paper delicately at first, and then remembering Jake's gleeful expression as he ripped into his gift that I should follow suit. I yanked away at the paper and took off the lid with enthusiasm.

I expected something wonderful from Jake, but never anything this nice.

It was, as I had anticipated, a crystal carved into the form of a wolf. This wolf, however was lying down, relaxed, and was attached by a hook to a leather cord. It glowed with a fiery red in the bright moonlight.

The same color as his wolf-fur.

It was stunning.

I was in a trance. I gave him a hug, too stunned for words. I could feel him kissing the top of my head, and stroking my hair, and the icy sting of tears rolling down my face. They weren't just mine, either.

All I could do was stare out at the water, moving slowing, lulling me into a state of mental peace. I felt as if I could stay in that moment for days, maybe I'd miss my wedding, and I'd be pretty content with that.

I don't know how long we were there, but the wind picked up, hiding the bright moon again and bringing in more snow. Jake escorted me back to Charlie. I know he said something about showing me the beach. Charlie wished him well, Billy wished me well from the door, and I gave Jake one last hug.

"Merry Christmas," was all I could think of to say. I couldn't meet his eyes. I looked back to see him as we drove away, but I knew he was gone. He was.

Later that night, after showering and washing the dog-smell off me, Edward came in, as was customary, and instantly picked up my necklace. He traced the engraved fur carefully, like they would cut hit marble fingers.

"How did he take it?"

"How do you think?" I knew that he had been in Jake's thoughts the entire time, and was just trying to get the information from me.

"I don't envy him. He's going to miss you."

"I know," was all I could say, because everything else that could be said I had already told myself many times. Edward knew where the topic should drop.

However, I couldn't help but gaze out my window in wonder. Snow had started again. I could only imagine the Quileutes frolicking in the snow, running as a pack, and playing in the dancing, falling snowflakes in the shadowy, thick woods.

And I could see Jake, on our beach, lying down curled by our tree, watching the waves move sluggishly in, and letting out a howl. It would be a sad howl, low and mournful, yet enchanting and beautiful.

I could swear I actually heard it myself.


End file.
